fake working

TAX DAY!

2011-04-15T07:12:00.000-07:00

2010-12-17T09:11:00.000-08:00

I'm right on top of that, Rose!

2010-11-30T19:01:00.000-08:00

Whoops! It would appear that we suck at fake working these days. We both got new jobs earlier this year that forces us to kinda, like, really work. Bummer.

Mid Afternoon Snack Attack

2010-05-20T15:29:00.000-07:00

via woolgathering & miscellany's tumblr

Reader Submission:

2010-05-11T09:21:00.000-07:00

Thanks, OneBadApple, we wish this came standard with every computer!

2010-05-10T19:19:00.000-07:00

Hate your job?

This guy's got it worse.

:(

2010-03-29T13:21:00.000-07:00

via What is Imperfect

You too?

2010-03-29T09:19:00.000-07:00

source

hmmrph

2010-02-25T06:03:00.000-08:00

Jeremy Forson

Um, everyday?

2010-02-21T20:22:00.001-08:00

by Marc Johns

nap theme decor

2010-02-16T11:19:00.000-08:00

Cube Chic: Take Your Office Space from Drab to Fab!

work/life balance

2010-02-03T22:07:00.001-08:00

2010-02-01T08:05:00.000-08:00

I really hate the guy in the cube next door.

source

2010-01-21T14:07:00.000-08:00

"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way..."

i guess:

2010-01-21T07:31:00.000-08:00

nappin on the job

2010-01-20T10:47:00.000-08:00

Sluggo

It's only Wednesday?!?!?!?

2010-01-20T06:56:00.003-08:00

zenvironments

2010-01-19T08:00:00.000-08:00

black monday

LOST:

2010-01-18T12:23:00.001-08:00

via

Peacefully protest this morning.

2010-01-18T08:07:00.000-08:00

I may have come in at 9:22am but at least I'm here bitch.
A little passive aggressiveness in the morning never killed anyone.
Michael Young.

MLK was a revolutionary. I'm taking his example and coming in when I damn well please today.
Peacefully protest this morning.

T.G.I.F.

2010-01-15T09:27:00.000-08:00

Natalie Dee

match your accsy to your attitude

2010-01-15T07:46:00.000-08:00

gary schott no - no brooch

aluminum, brass, wood hand, paint, steel wire

Inspired by Read my Pins

bathroom break

2010-01-14T15:09:00.000-08:00

Like any self respecting fake-worker I take multiple bathroom breaks a day. I don't have an overactive bladder, I just need to occasionally loosen the desk tether and take a relaxation break.

Toilet flushing & chemical strawberry aerosol > your cube

Robert Barry, Marcuse PiecePhoto: 16 Miles

clown boss demands answers

2010-01-14T14:56:00.001-08:00

toothpaste for dinner

friendly reminder

2010-01-14T06:59:00.000-08:00

Williamsburg Bridge, NYC. 2009

source

not really

2010-01-13T08:16:00.000-08:00

source

morning commute

2010-01-12T11:52:00.000-08:00

Alex Robbins

eerily familiar?

2010-01-11T11:45:00.001-08:00

Walking though hallway corridors on Monday mornings:
source

don't worry, 5pm is right around the corner

2010-01-07T16:55:00.000-08:00

follow the black rabbit

2010:

2009-12-31T14:08:00.000-08:00

To increasing happiness in the new year!

Seems easy enough, right?

source

It's stuck

2009-12-30T14:44:00.000-08:00

source

Could've used this once or twice

2009-12-30T14:07:00.000-08:00

Beim Chef (With the boss) by Roman Signer.

source

2009-12-30T13:55:00.000-08:00

"Folks who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do."

-Elbert Hubbard: Quotes on Hard Work

for the commuting FWer

2009-12-28T11:38:00.000-08:00

source

holiday bird

2009-12-28T07:22:00.000-08:00

This is from all of us required to come back to work today. We hate you corporate America.
Scott Marvel Cassidy
“F. U. Forever”, 2006

Piggyback

2009-12-23T07:52:00.000-08:00

by the talented Brannan McGill

It's true.

2009-12-21T13:41:00.000-08:00

wait...what?

2009-12-21T10:51:00.000-08:00

source

You said these reports are due tomorrow?
Whaaaaat?
I can't hear you over all the important Christmas shopping conversations we're having.
The deadline is when?
They have to be in or our entire fourth quarter will be down?
Huh? Speak louder.. I just can't seem to hear you clearly.
I still can't hear you.
My new Grandma got run over by a reindeer ringtone must be too loud.
I must have some yule log stuck in my ears.
Oh forget it, I'm going to have to handle whatever you're talking about on January 4th.
I still can't register what you're saying to me.

keep yer trap shut

2009-12-10T13:24:00.000-08:00

tip #22: Don't follow Marlene from accounting.

Twitter gets you fired in 140 characters or less

Why waste valuable social networking hours getting yourself "Facebook fired," when Twitter allows you to humiliate yourself quickly, and in 140 characters or less?

designyoutrust

prying eyes

2009-12-08T11:57:00.000-08:00

Dresscode

2009-12-07T08:44:00.000-08:00

pillowig by jooyoun paek

source

I'm flabbergasted

2009-12-04T10:40:00.000-08:00

Study Finds Working At Work Improves Productivity

WASHINGTON, DC—According to a groundbreaking new study by the Department of Labor, working—the physical act of engaging in a productive job-related activity—may greatly increase the amount of work accomplished during the workday, especially when compared with the more common practices of wasting time and not working.

An American worker can triple his work output by working.

"Our findings are astounding: By simply sitting down and doing work, employees can dramatically increase their output of goods and services," said Deputy Undersecretary of Labor Charlotte Ponticelli, who authored the report. "In fact, 'working' may revolutionize the way people work."

Perhaps even more shocking, the study reveals that not working significantly decreases worker productivity, sometimes even resulting in no work getting done at all. Based on the study, we can safely conclude that if an employee's job is to process expense reports, doing a crossword puzzle will result in the successful completion of that task zero times out of 100, while processing expense reports will result in the successful completion of that task 100 times out of 100," head researcher Richard Schoemberg said.

Despite the staggering new findings, many American workers say that they still do not feel comfortable working on the job.

"I love coming into work every day," Arlington, VA sales manager Bryce Davidson said. "I get to have great conversations with [office receptionist] Sandy, challenge myself with Yahoo! TextTwist, and still have time to set my fantasy-football roster. Why would I want to ruin work by working?"

2009-12-03T07:30:00.000-08:00

Sick of having to answer stupid ass questions from your needy co-workers? Hate people who don't take the two seconds to research before howling for IT? This is the perfect print for those with no tolerance for the insipid non googler. life long work week

"Chad Kouri says that when ever anyone from his family or otherwise calls to ask him a question about their computer, iphone, ipod or otherwise he usually just googles it. Buy this poster for your friends and family that always ask you questions and don't think to google for the answer first."

can't RW even when I try

2009-12-02T13:49:00.000-08:00

My emails have been following the black hole hamster today.

IT networking is against me accomplishing tasks I guess.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!

2009-12-02T08:12:00.000-08:00

2009-11-30T08:10:00.001-08:00

source

DON'T

2009-11-30T08:03:00.001-08:00

A lesson in existentialism

2009-11-16T18:43:00.001-08:00

If I can't see you, then you don't exist.

9-5 kills magic

2009-11-16T09:17:00.000-08:00

I wish it would employ me at 60k a year with 4 weeks vacation and benefits.
source

The only time piece you need:

2009-11-15T17:07:00.001-08:00

by Maira Kalman

toe the line

2009-11-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

A Beautiful Revolution

Aspirations

2009-11-07T12:18:00.000-08:00

the blake wright

2009-11-06T10:30:00.000-08:00

via spool spectrum

2009-10-30T14:10:00.001-07:00

Stephanie Brooks; Happy Halloween!

pumpkin-sized digital print, 2006

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY: Part 1

2009-10-30T10:08:00.000-07:00

To be continued...

10.26 everyday

2009-10-26T14:54:00.000-07:00

Monday October 26th is most unproductive day.

Today will be the most unproductive day of the year, according to a survey, as workers' morale is hit by the darker evenings brought on by the clock change.

Researchers found productivity will drop by 50 per cent this week as depressed staff around the country struggle to come to terms with the dark nights closing in.

A staggering 52 per cent of workers admitted they will struggle to get to grips with their work-load today.

Actually, I blame cats. Cats make me unproductive. Looming clock change or not... I'm wasting all my precious work hours looking up kitties on the internet.
If anything is to blame it's LOL Cats & Evil Kitty

telegraph via gmbm

It's OK

2009-10-26T06:24:00.000-07:00

Hang in there, little desk jockeys. This shit cannot (hopefully) last forever.

We love you!

2009-10-25T21:32:00.000-07:00

via

happy national boss day

2009-10-16T07:32:00.000-07:00

No, really... I mean it. I'm so not spewing crap.

klara kristalova piece

@$%&!

2009-10-15T13:14:00.000-07:00

This statistic would be much higher if my boss hired Mexicans.

Posted on Wednesday, 10.14.09

%$@&%!! Survey says Mexicans curse 20 times a day

The Associated Press

MEXICO CITY -- Caramba! A new survey says Mexican adults curse an average of 20 times a day, serving up about 1.3 billion swear words daily.

2009-10-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

I think my job is affecting my social skills.

I was never this dull prior to desk jockeying.

I heard a

2009-10-12T10:27:00.000-07:00

nation wide moan this morning from all the 9-5ers who didn't get Columbus Day off.Effing bummer.

Work Schticks

2009-10-08T20:08:00.000-07:00

I feel like the I NEED COFFEE bubble, the I DON'T CARE, the REALLY? & the CAN I GO NOW? will need to be replaced from wear and tear the soonest. Maybe these should come in 2 different packages: FMJ & LMJ (Love my job? That just doesn't roll off the tongue as well.)

via swissmiss

shenanigans with paper shreader

2009-10-08T14:59:00.000-07:00

It's 3pm. Things are starting to get a bit wacky in here. source

my new desk mate

2009-10-08T08:15:00.000-07:00

the subtlest of fuck yous.julie moon egg hand

staff meeting time

2009-10-06T14:30:00.000-07:00

snoozin

Mike-Echo ,Tango-Oscar-Oscar

2009-10-05T13:21:00.000-07:00

2009-10-03T10:07:00.000-07:00

Sticky Situations

2009

portfolio containing 42 silkscreen prints on white Masa paper with relief-printed background colors in clamshell box covered with relief-printed Hosho paper

prints: 15" x 15"

box: 15.25" x 15.25" x 1.75"

edition of 33

Publisher: Beggar's Bowl Press, Portland, Maine.

Printers: Adriane Herman and Damir Porobic

source

FUCK OFF

2009-10-02T08:18:00.000-07:00

THE LAST TIME MY BOSS DEMANDED THAT I FETCH HIS COFFEE:

perk up, it's FRIDAY

2009-10-02T06:15:00.000-07:00

sylvia stolan

Say no to moss!

2009-10-01T07:05:00.000-07:00

I think one way to successfully fake work is to never stay at one job for very long. Once you've outstayed your welcome, your ass becomes fat, your drawers become messy, and your inadequacies/mistakes start catching up with you. It's best to stay fresh. Be that mysterious newcomer, the go getter, the mover, the shaker. No one will suspect you're really a fake worker in disguise. Remember, a rolling stone gathers no moss.

2009-10-01T06:20:00.000-07:00

valezki

O RLY?

2009-09-30T10:19:00.000-07:00

source

ideal for my cube entrance

2009-09-29T12:15:00.000-07:00

more vintage door hangers

this is me working hard

2009-09-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

...scrolling through tmz & ffffound

2009-09-28T07:09:00.000-07:00

Monday morning. Time to pay for your two days of debauchery, you hungover drones.

-Monty Burns

blame mercury

2009-09-25T14:08:00.000-07:00

It's not just us. There's a reason we're sending out that email intended on Monday today. Damn Mercury is in retrograde again.

"...on Monday, September 7th, 2009, Mercury turns retrograde, sending communications, travel, appointments, mail and the www into a general snarlup! "

About to become a statistic?

2009-09-25T10:29:00.000-07:00

Seek help. Or not.

Violence in the workplace is a serious safety and health issue. Its most extreme form, homicide, is the fourth-leading cause of fatal occupational injury in the United States. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics Census of Fatal Occupational Injuries (CFOI), there were 564 workplace homicides in 2005 in the United States, out of a total of 5,702 fatal work injuries.

photo source

We don't know, does it??

2009-09-25T09:51:00.000-07:00

source

2009-09-24T15:30:00.000-07:00

This happens to me about 3:30 everyday. I start seeing things. Food things.

do bem™ - Açaí Juice 100% fruit (Tic Tic Tac Wafer's Keyboard) from Hardcuore on Vimeo.

Source

Dear Corportate America,

2009-09-24T13:33:00.000-07:00

Sarah Lotte

AMEN!

2009-09-24T09:43:00.000-07:00

blue collar FW

2009-09-24T07:08:00.000-07:00

source
Disguising non work items in cleavers ways is a common FW theme.

2009-09-23T21:19:00.001-07:00

We suppose it was only a matter of time:

FOLLOW FAKE WORKING ON TWITTER!

deadline schmeadline

2009-09-23T12:07:00.000-07:00

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
-Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

aphorisms via memelodia

more Rheum for me

2009-09-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

The only thing I've produced today has been eye boogers.

2009-09-22T09:15:00.000-07:00

"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy."

- Charlie McCarthy

pic

my boss has:

2009-09-21T11:15:00.000-07:00

tunnel vision

mask by rebecca lyddon

catching some zzz

2009-09-21T10:10:00.000-07:00

sleep working
working while still sleeping, somehow you manage to get the job done without being fully awake. Related to sleep walking and sleep talking, only you get paid. Not to be confused with other occupations involving getting paid for being in bed.

Walk fast, and carry a big envelope...

2009-09-21T09:47:00.000-07:00

Woolgathering & Miscellany is reading our minds! Check out what she wrote about this gorgeous leather envelope by Spooner & Watts:

"I'm also loving this leathahh envelope. Clutching one in your pit and walking fast, with conviction, can make anyone appear ultra important. No one has to know that you have an US Weekly & sudoku tucked away in there. TCB, all the way.

We just love to see another blogger hard at (fake) work.