Aspirations

the blake wright

via spool spectrum

Stephanie Brooks; Happy Halloween!

pumpkin-sized digital print, 2006

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY: Part 1

To be continued...

10.26 everyday

Monday October 26th is most unproductive day.

Today will be the most unproductive day of the year, according to a survey, as workers' morale is hit by the darker evenings brought on by the clock change.

Researchers found productivity will drop by 50 per cent this week as depressed staff around the country struggle to come to terms with the dark nights closing in.

A staggering 52 per cent of workers admitted they will struggle to get to grips with their work-load today.

Actually, I blame cats. Cats make me unproductive. Looming clock change or not... I'm wasting all my precious work hours looking up kitties on the internet.
If anything is to blame it's LOL Cats & Evil Kitty

telegraph via gmbm

It's OK

Hang in there, little desk jockeys. This shit cannot (hopefully) last forever.

We love you!

via

happy national boss day

No, really... I mean it. I'm so not spewing crap.

klara kristalova piece

@$%&!

This statistic would be much higher if my boss hired Mexicans.

Posted on Wednesday, 10.14.09

%$@&%!! Survey says Mexicans curse 20 times a day

The Associated Press

MEXICO CITY -- Caramba! A new survey says Mexican adults curse an average of 20 times a day, serving up about 1.3 billion swear words daily.

I think my job is affecting my social skills.

I was never this dull prior to desk jockeying.

I heard a

nation wide moan this morning from all the 9-5ers who didn't get Columbus Day off.Effing bummer.

Work Schticks

I feel like the I NEED COFFEE bubble, the I DON'T CARE, the REALLY? & the CAN I GO NOW? will need to be replaced from wear and tear the soonest. Maybe these should come in 2 different packages: FMJ & LMJ (Love my job? That just doesn't roll off the tongue as well.)

via swissmiss

shenanigans with paper shreader

It's 3pm. Things are starting to get a bit wacky in here. source

my new desk mate

the subtlest of fuck yous.julie moon egg hand

staff meeting time

snoozin

Mike-Echo ,Tango-Oscar-Oscar

Sticky Situations

2009

portfolio containing 42 silkscreen prints on white Masa paper with relief-printed background colors in clamshell box covered with relief-printed Hosho paper

prints: 15" x 15"

box: 15.25" x 15.25" x 1.75"

edition of 33

Publisher: Beggar's Bowl Press, Portland, Maine.

Printers: Adriane Herman and Damir Porobic

source

FUCK OFF

THE LAST TIME MY BOSS DEMANDED THAT I FETCH HIS COFFEE:

perk up, it's FRIDAY

sylvia stolan

Say no to moss!

I think one way to successfully fake work is to never stay at one job for very long. Once you've outstayed your welcome, your ass becomes fat, your drawers become messy, and your inadequacies/mistakes start catching up with you. It's best to stay fresh. Be that mysterious newcomer, the go getter, the mover, the shaker. No one will suspect you're really a fake worker in disguise. Remember, a rolling stone gathers no moss.

valezki

O RLY?

source

ideal for my cube entrance

more vintage door hangers

this is me working hard

...scrolling through tmz & ffffound

Monday morning. Time to pay for your two days of debauchery, you hungover drones.

-Monty Burns

blame mercury

It's not just us. There's a reason we're sending out that email intended on Monday today. Damn Mercury is in retrograde again.

"...on Monday, September 7th, 2009, Mercury turns retrograde, sending communications, travel, appointments, mail and the www into a general snarlup! "

About to become a statistic?

Seek help.  Or not.

Violence in the workplace is a serious safety and health issue. Its most extreme form, homicide, is the fourth-leading cause of fatal occupational injury in the United States. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics Census of Fatal Occupational Injuries (CFOI), there were 564 workplace homicides in 2005 in the United States, out of a total of 5,702 fatal work injuries.

photo source

We don't know, does it??

source

This happens to me about 3:30 everyday. I start seeing things. Food things.

do bem™ - Açaí Juice 100% fruit (Tic Tic Tac Wafer's Keyboard) from Hardcuore on Vimeo.

Source

Dear Corportate America,

Sarah Lotte

AMEN!

blue collar FW

source
Disguising non work items in cleavers ways is a common FW theme.

We suppose it was only a matter of time:

FOLLOW FAKE WORKING ON TWITTER!

deadline schmeadline

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
-Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

aphorisms via memelodia

more Rheum for me

The only thing I've produced today has been eye boogers.

"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy."

- Charlie McCarthy

pic

my boss has:

tunnel vision

mask by rebecca lyddon

catching some zzz

sleep working
working while still sleeping, somehow you manage to get the job done without being fully awake. Related to sleep walking and sleep talking, only you get paid. Not to be confused with other occupations involving getting paid for being in bed.

Walk fast, and carry a big envelope...

Woolgathering & Miscellany is reading our minds! Check out what she wrote about this gorgeous leather envelope by Spooner & Watts:

"I'm also loving this leathahh envelope. Clutching one in your pit and walking fast, with conviction, can make anyone appear ultra important. No one has to know that you have an US Weekly & sudoku tucked away in there. TCB, all the way.

We just love to see another blogger hard at (fake) work.

fake office equipment matches my fake productivity

Self Medicate

It was one of those weeks where this bar briefcase could have gotten a lot of mileage.

done & done!

source

9-5 get ups

What I wore today drawings

reason no. 34 to quit

Those damn OT hours can kill you.



via welcome to the internets

natalie dee

I'll never forget

I forgot…
A self-initiated, self-dependant project.

Craig Oldham

I Wish Procrastination Was a Marketable Skill

"Eighty percent of success is showing up."

-Woody Allen

source

source

BLURRRR

poster via ignant