Thursday, December 31, 2009


To increasing happiness in the new year!
Seems easy enough, right?

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

It's stuck

Could've used this once or twice

Beim Chef (With the boss) by Roman Signer.

"Folks who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do."
-Elbert Hubbard: Quotes on Hard Work

Monday, December 28, 2009

for the commuting FWer

holiday bird

This is from all of us required to come back to work today. We hate you corporate America.
Scott Marvel Cassidy
“F. U. Forever”, 2006

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Monday, December 21, 2009

It's true.


You said these reports are due tomorrow?
I can't hear you over all the important Christmas shopping conversations we're having.
The deadline is when?
They have to be in or our entire fourth quarter will be down?
Huh? Speak louder.. I just can't seem to hear you clearly.
I still can't hear you.
My new
Grandma got run over by a reindeer ringtone must be too loud.
I must have some yule log stuck in my ears.
Oh forget it, I'm going to have to handle whatever you're talking about on January 4th.
I still can't register what you're saying to me.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Monday, December 7, 2009

Friday, December 4, 2009

I'm flabbergasted

Study Finds Working At Work Improves Productivity

WASHINGTON, DC—According to a groundbreaking new study by the Department of Labor, working—the physical act of engaging in a productive job-related activity—may greatly increase the amount of work accomplished during the workday, especially when compared with the more common practices of wasting time and not working.

An American worker can triple his work output by working.

"Our findings are astounding: By simply sitting down and doing work, employees can dramatically increase their output of goods and services," said Deputy Undersecretary of Labor Charlotte Ponticelli, who authored the report. "In fact, 'working' may revolutionize the way people work."

Perhaps even more shocking, the study reveals that not working significantly decreases worker productivity, sometimes even resulting in no work getting done at all. Based on the study, we can safely conclude that if an employee's job is to process expense reports, doing a crossword puzzle will result in the successful completion of that task zero times out of 100, while processing expense reports will result in the successful completion of that task 100 times out of 100," head researcher Richard Schoemberg said.

Despite the staggering new findings, many American workers say that they still do not feel comfortable working on the job.

"I love coming into work every day," Arlington, VA sales manager Bryce Davidson said. "I get to have great conversations with [office receptionist] Sandy, challenge myself with Yahoo! TextTwist, and still have time to set my fantasy-football roster. Why would I want to ruin work by working?"

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Sick of having to answer stupid ass questions from your needy co-workers? Hate people who don't take the two seconds to research before howling for IT? This is the perfect print for those with no tolerance for the insipid non googler. life long work week

"Chad Kouri says that when ever anyone from his family or otherwise calls to ask him a question about their computer, iphone, ipod or otherwise he usually just googles it. Buy this poster for your friends and family that always ask you questions and don't think to google for the answer first."

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

can't RW even when I try

My emails have been following the black hole hamster today.
IT networking is against me accomplishing tasks I guess.


Monday, November 16, 2009

A lesson in existentialism

If I can't see you, then you don't exist.

9-5 kills magic

I wish it would employ me at 60k a year with 4 weeks vacation and benefits.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Friday, November 6, 2009

Friday, October 30, 2009

Monday, October 26, 2009

10.26 everyday

Monday October 26th is most unproductive day.

Today will be the most unproductive day of the year, according to a survey, as workers' morale is hit by the darker evenings brought on by the clock change.

Researchers found productivity will drop by 50 per cent this week as depressed staff around the country struggle to come to terms with the dark nights closing in.

A staggering 52 per cent of workers admitted they will struggle to get to grips with their work-load today.

Actually, I blame cats. Cats make me unproductive. Looming clock change or not... I'm wasting all my precious work hours looking up kitties on the internet.
If anything is to blame it's LOL Cats & Evil Kitty

It's OK

Hang in there, little desk jockeys. This shit cannot (hopefully) last forever.
We love you!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Friday, October 16, 2009

happy national boss day

No, really... I mean it. I'm so not spewing crap.

Thursday, October 15, 2009


This statistic would be much higher if my boss hired Mexicans.
Posted on Wednesday, 10.14.09

%$@&%!! Survey says Mexicans curse 20 times a day

The Associated Press

Caramba! A new survey says Mexican adults curse an average of 20 times a day, serving up about 1.3 billion swear words daily.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I think my job is affecting my social skills.
I was never this dull prior to desk jockeying.

Monday, October 12, 2009

I heard a

nation wide moan this morning from all the 9-5ers who didn't get Columbus Day off.Effing bummer.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Work Schticks

I feel like the I NEED COFFEE bubble, the I DON'T CARE, the REALLY? & the CAN I GO NOW? will need to be replaced from wear and tear the soonest. Maybe these should come in 2 different packages: FMJ & LMJ (Love my job? That just doesn't roll off the tongue as well.)

shenanigans with paper shreader

It's 3pm. Things are starting to get a bit wacky in here. source

my new desk mate

the subtlest of fuck yous.julie moon egg hand

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Sticky Situations

portfolio containing 42 silkscreen prints on white Masa paper with relief-printed background colors in clamshell box covered with relief-printed Hosho paper
prints: 15" x 15"
box: 15.25" x 15.25" x 1.75"
edition of 33
Publisher: Beggar's Bowl Press, Portland, Maine.
Printers: Adriane Herman and Damir Porobic

Friday, October 2, 2009

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Say no to moss!

I think one way to successfully fake work is to never stay at one job for very long. Once you've outstayed your welcome, your ass becomes fat, your drawers become messy, and your inadequacies/mistakes start catching up with you. It's best to stay fresh. Be that mysterious newcomer, the go getter, the mover, the shaker. No one will suspect you're really a fake worker in disguise. Remember, a rolling stone gathers no moss.