Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Monday, June 29, 2009

stylish way to screen fakeworking

nomad by jaime salm roger allen

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Monday, June 22, 2009

one desk jockey speaks out

I hate my job so I write, think of photographs, Daniel Craig, Edward Norton, and how to get a better job. Not always in that order...
How could you NOT be inspired?
I spilled tea... guess I better clean it up. I'll get right on it.

It makes it easier.
Can anyone tell me how or why decorating the veal pens like a bad high school dance will boost morale?

"Our cubes are like veal pens. And they treat us like veal, horrible as that is. Constant overlords wielding what they perceive to be power. Ten years working in a call center does not give you power, except to bully others, a constant here. I refer to my id badge holder as my slave chain. I refer to myself as a "good lil' robot" and proclaim myself "bad robot" when they bitch at me about something meaningless. They don't like that. They don't like me; I'm an agitator. I refuse to be treated like garbage by anyone. We are considered nothing more than a replaceable cog in their machine, a machine that's soul purpose is to make money....
I search for meaning in this cramped crate of what some would call a workstation. Really it's just a bunch of papers, pens, cups, pills. I keep my cube messy on purpose. Just another small irritation, half expecting them to tell me to clean up my desk like I am a petulant child to clean it's room."

need help playing hookey?

Make Yourself Sick helps you to be more sick than you really are (which is not at all!). You’ll receive a number to call with your phone. Leave your message - and make sure you pause in places. After you are finished recording, go back to the website and key in the number you just called from. It will play back your message.
Now, throw in random sound effects, such as a cough, sneeze and more. There are some pretty graphic sounds! Add them into your recording wherever you want, specifically during the pauses. It may be a little disgusting, but it gets the point across.
Once you’re done recording and mixing it up, you can have it sent to your employer’s phone. Type in their number, and click the “Call in Sick” button. What’s cool is not only will it call the number, but it also sends a text message stating that one of their employees really need to talk to them.

gross yet relatable

Tragic Event Forces Man To Spend Rest Of Life Confined To Office Chair

While he can sometimes rise from his office chair under his own power, Fahey said he can only do so with "great difficulty."
WILMETTE, IL—The life of recent college graduate Jeremy Fahey was forever changed earlier this month when the once outgoing and carefree student succumbed to a job offer at a local insurance claims firm, an unforeseen and tragic event that will most likely keep him confined to an office chair for the rest of his life. While many details remain unclear, it is now believed that Fahey lost any and all upward mobility moments after being hired for a data entry position at Sedgwick Enterprises on the morning of July 25.
"You hear stories about it all the time, but you never think that something like this is going to happen to you," said Fahey, who now spends most days trapped inside a windowless cubicle, and only leaves his office chair in order to use the bathroom. "It's funny: One minute you have your entire future ahead of you, and the next thing you know, you practically need someone to drag you out of bed in the morning."
Due to Fahey's condition, simple, everyday tasks such as grocery shopping, walking his dog, or even just cleaning up after himself have become virtually impossible feats. In addition, Fahey admitted that he has been forced to abandon a number of his favorite activities, from jogging in the park to just kicking his feet up and watching daytime television.
Fahey, who claims to have lost "all sense of purpose" due to this harrowing turn of events, is already finding it difficult to remember a time when he "didn't feel completely numb."
"People keep telling me that it's going to get easier, that I won't always be stuck in this position, but right now, every minute of every day is a struggle," Fahey said.
In recent weeks, Fahey has also found himself requiring the aid of various stimulants and drugs, such as caffeine, sugar, and even alcohol, just to get through the day. Worse yet, those close to the once lively 22-year-old report that he has become almost entirely dependent on computers to communicate with those around him.
"Sometimes I imagine what a relief it would be if I just gave up all together, if I never had to deal with another weekday ever again," Fahey said. "But then I think about my school loans and my credit card debt, and I know I have no choice but to keep going."

Friday, June 19, 2009

if you're unfortunate enough to be stuck behind a desk all day, why not spend it with this lil' guy?

must see: clockwatchers

spreadtweet = pure genius

Oooh, I'm soooo busy, crunching all these numbers! Be sure if you're using MS Office for Windows, that your background color matches the standard blue. I had a black background for three days before I realized it did not match!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

mini masterpieces

by the patron saint of post its, marc johns

recommended desk jockey reading

Extreme Office Crafts: Creative & Devious Ways to Waste Office Supplies & Company Time

desk jockey fine art

David Fullarton's "What I do at work when I'm supposed to be working."
A number of small works made entirely from office supplies, which are pinned up randomly around the office, in amongst the notices, flyers and memos that were already existing in the environment.

Part of Sisyphus Office